This morning at church we were partaking in communion and my father said "Kelly why don't you pray since you have so much to be thankful for this week." Ya know it just doesn't take much to wreck me. I managed to choke out "thankyou father for loving us and blessing us" and I was done and my mom was bawling. Last week it was provision and then this snow storm - amazing! If God can birth a nation in a day why can't he rescue us in a day?
I was just sitting here reflecting on this past week and it seems like a dream. How can you one day be wondering how you are going to feed your family and pay your bills to wondering wait what the heck just happened to us? Ha Ha! Only our Father in heaven. I can't even tell you how many tears I have cried and how many prayers I have said. Its like childbirth. 9 months of carring around a expentancy and then the time comes and its so intense and then its done. And as you lay there holding this precious life in your hands wondering wait - its over. But the reminder of what you went through is all to vivid.
Already this Christmas season is different. I feel different. The other day my brother and I were Christmas shopping for the 1st time this season. I coudn't buy anything. I just stood there with tears in my eyes. My brother Sean just looked at me and finally said " Kelly - you got to make up your mind today- this stuff will all be gone" and I was like" I can't" - its like the story that Heidi Baker told of her first time going to a buffet and freezing up. She is a missionary in a starving nation. Well thats how I felt- sick to my stomach. Thinking we have gone with out for so long and now I have to buy gifts and I just.... well I was overwelmed. Sean grabbed my shoulder and said "God has blessed you with this money so you can bless your children". Yea. Ok. I got it. Sort of.
So as I am sitting here reflecting- I want this Christmas to be different. My heart is screaming out "Father draw me into you! Bring my family to greater intimacy with you. Take us higher. Take us deeper." I have amazing memories of Christmas and all the wonderful things our parents do to make it special. I want Papa to allow amazing mighty encounters with him this Christmas- thats what I want. I want to share this with you! I am so thankful that we were able to buy gifts for our kids. I really am. This year is going to be different and I think its going to be a beginning of a new way of celebrating this season.
Thank you father that you love us. You are amazing. Thankyou Lord for all you have done. And for all you are going to do.
It says in the bible that God has treasure stored in heaven for those that love him. I love him. I have fallen in love. Even during this time of intense testing. I still love him... well actually more. I have laid daily my worries and fears at his feet. I heard this comment from Fanz Lippi- "Prayers are effective. They are like taking a sledge hammer against a wide block cement wall. Eventually you are going to break through." ( well it was something like that)
Merry Christmas friends! May you have a mighty encounter with Christ!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Promises of provision being fullfilled
I have to do a update to my previous post because that was really depressing wasn't it? I read other peoples blogs and they are not so heavy as mine but I really feel lead to write and be honest about where we are at, for me its like an online journal... hmmmm just for all the world to see!
So last week was probably our bottom. Everything and anything went not the way we were hoping. I was devastated and spent most of the weekend criing. My heart literally feels like it is just shattering. My hubby and I were starting to play the blame game. You know what I mean don't you? At that point we sat down and prayed. That is really hard when your in the middle of the blame game. It stopped it.
This past weekend Pastor Dave made a remark in his sermon and I heard it but I didn't. After the service we were talking to my parents and my Dad said "did you hear what P. Dave said?" and I was like "ummmmm which part?" and Dad said " when you are in a place that you can't help yourself you are right where God wants you to be". Well, we are there! Ha!
This past Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday - 3 separate provision miracles happend to us. Big ones - well to me when nothing has happened and your on the bottom then everything is amazing. All I can say is I was triing to have hope that we would have a Christmas but I was also prepared that we would not and Sunday night as I was talking w/ Papa - I said to him "you told me to have reckless hopefullness but I have nothing left in me to hope".
Now I am going crazy triing to shop and plan for Christmas. HaHa! God is so good!
God is faithfull in fullfilling his promises! This has not been an easy or short journey. It has been hard remembering that and confessing that when everything is not going my way. He loves us soooo much! So much that he is stripping away my pride and showing me how to have complete trust in him.
I know your wondering what the provision miracles were. Ha! I am going to say this- that if God didn't strip the pride off of us - he would not have been able to give us this provision. Do you get that? Because that was just like a aha moment - wow. Ummm yea. If you really want to know I will share with you but not on here. Its just not the place or maybe the time. I feel like when God gets into the grit and creates a miracle I want to share it and I think we should but I'm not ready to yet. I am letting it all sink in.
I feel like there is more provision coming and I am excited! Are we out of this yet? ..... I don't know and I am not focusing on that right now. I want to enjoy this Christmas with my family and enjoy knowing that God is sooooo good!
So last week was probably our bottom. Everything and anything went not the way we were hoping. I was devastated and spent most of the weekend criing. My heart literally feels like it is just shattering. My hubby and I were starting to play the blame game. You know what I mean don't you? At that point we sat down and prayed. That is really hard when your in the middle of the blame game. It stopped it.
This past weekend Pastor Dave made a remark in his sermon and I heard it but I didn't. After the service we were talking to my parents and my Dad said "did you hear what P. Dave said?" and I was like "ummmmm which part?" and Dad said " when you are in a place that you can't help yourself you are right where God wants you to be". Well, we are there! Ha!
This past Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday - 3 separate provision miracles happend to us. Big ones - well to me when nothing has happened and your on the bottom then everything is amazing. All I can say is I was triing to have hope that we would have a Christmas but I was also prepared that we would not and Sunday night as I was talking w/ Papa - I said to him "you told me to have reckless hopefullness but I have nothing left in me to hope".
Now I am going crazy triing to shop and plan for Christmas. HaHa! God is so good!
God is faithfull in fullfilling his promises! This has not been an easy or short journey. It has been hard remembering that and confessing that when everything is not going my way. He loves us soooo much! So much that he is stripping away my pride and showing me how to have complete trust in him.
I know your wondering what the provision miracles were. Ha! I am going to say this- that if God didn't strip the pride off of us - he would not have been able to give us this provision. Do you get that? Because that was just like a aha moment - wow. Ummm yea. If you really want to know I will share with you but not on here. Its just not the place or maybe the time. I feel like when God gets into the grit and creates a miracle I want to share it and I think we should but I'm not ready to yet. I am letting it all sink in.
I feel like there is more provision coming and I am excited! Are we out of this yet? ..... I don't know and I am not focusing on that right now. I want to enjoy this Christmas with my family and enjoy knowing that God is sooooo good!
Friday, December 11, 2009
broken...
Greetings friends! This is my 3rd start to this blog( i keep deleting and starting over!). Can I share my experience with you today? A humbling one? Well good because I am.
Today we went to the new doctors for the kids. So yea that was really interesting. I'm not sure how I survived it without turning around and leaving...in the parking lot before I even parked. Yes thats not a good sign is it? Can I tell you that I am being humbled beyond my imagination. In a previous blog I mentioned that we got kicked off our blue chip and were so graciouly put on medicade. It was a 2 month battle that I did not win and we were stuck with the doctor that was pre-chosen for us. No one else excepted this insurance so we being directed to a inner city health center.
All I can say is God must be giving me courage that I didn't know that I had. As I drove thru a part of the city that is not a place that I would typically drive slowly or find a parking spot. So I find the center that is placed right beside a church and in front of probably a crack house. So we went into the building that had a pharmacy located in it. Does your doctors office have that? Hmmmmmm. Yea thats pretty interesting. We walked thru the building and found the pediatrics. As I sat there my eyes are just brimming... thinking Lord what are you doing to us? We felt very out of place- please I am saying that very humbling but honestly. Look the truth is I could have just walked out of there. I almost did but I coudn't - the kids needed there shots. I could give you all the disparing details of the rooms, the help, the people. My son kept saying to me "Mom I don't like this place." As we left I asked him "Ok so what did you think of that place?" and I expected him to remark about the people but he just said " the room was to small and not very nice but the doctor was really nice- I liked her." Hmmm wow- thats pretty cool. I have a pretty level headed kid. "Yea, the doctor was really great" I said "and you know we are no better then any of these people that are there. You know that right?" I finished. " Yea I know" My son said. "God loves these people the same as us, we really are no different". I added.
After we got home I was folding clothes and rehashing my afternoon. Wondering why us. What Lord are you taking us thru and for what reason. Even now as I am writing this part of me is thinking I can't believe you would even subject yourself to that -your better then that. Really?
This has been the most challenging month for us. I thought gee this can't get any worse and it has. I will spare you all the details but I will say this we arent the same. We are not stuck up. We are not selfish. We are no better then anyone else. We are broken. We are at the mercy of our Lord. If we didn't believe in him we would have never made it this far. We are changed. We are preciously place in Papas hands. And only now are we beginning to live. Anything and everything could not be in our favor right now its simply not.
Our eyes are being opened. Our hearts are to the point that there is no resistance. Could this be where the Lord is readying us?
Today we went to the new doctors for the kids. So yea that was really interesting. I'm not sure how I survived it without turning around and leaving...in the parking lot before I even parked. Yes thats not a good sign is it? Can I tell you that I am being humbled beyond my imagination. In a previous blog I mentioned that we got kicked off our blue chip and were so graciouly put on medicade. It was a 2 month battle that I did not win and we were stuck with the doctor that was pre-chosen for us. No one else excepted this insurance so we being directed to a inner city health center.
All I can say is God must be giving me courage that I didn't know that I had. As I drove thru a part of the city that is not a place that I would typically drive slowly or find a parking spot. So I find the center that is placed right beside a church and in front of probably a crack house. So we went into the building that had a pharmacy located in it. Does your doctors office have that? Hmmmmmm. Yea thats pretty interesting. We walked thru the building and found the pediatrics. As I sat there my eyes are just brimming... thinking Lord what are you doing to us? We felt very out of place- please I am saying that very humbling but honestly. Look the truth is I could have just walked out of there. I almost did but I coudn't - the kids needed there shots. I could give you all the disparing details of the rooms, the help, the people. My son kept saying to me "Mom I don't like this place." As we left I asked him "Ok so what did you think of that place?" and I expected him to remark about the people but he just said " the room was to small and not very nice but the doctor was really nice- I liked her." Hmmm wow- thats pretty cool. I have a pretty level headed kid. "Yea, the doctor was really great" I said "and you know we are no better then any of these people that are there. You know that right?" I finished. " Yea I know" My son said. "God loves these people the same as us, we really are no different". I added.
After we got home I was folding clothes and rehashing my afternoon. Wondering why us. What Lord are you taking us thru and for what reason. Even now as I am writing this part of me is thinking I can't believe you would even subject yourself to that -your better then that. Really?
This has been the most challenging month for us. I thought gee this can't get any worse and it has. I will spare you all the details but I will say this we arent the same. We are not stuck up. We are not selfish. We are no better then anyone else. We are broken. We are at the mercy of our Lord. If we didn't believe in him we would have never made it this far. We are changed. We are preciously place in Papas hands. And only now are we beginning to live. Anything and everything could not be in our favor right now its simply not.
Our eyes are being opened. Our hearts are to the point that there is no resistance. Could this be where the Lord is readying us?
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Dance those blues away!
I have to be honest with you I'm really fighting the Christmas blues. Usually by now I have the tree up and working on the outside. I would have already been shopping. I have nothing done at all! I put up a couple of decorations to satisfy the pleas coming from the kids. I really am so thankful for sooooo much. Really I am. This ultimatily has been a very rough season for us ( this past fall)- financially. God is so taking us on a journey that is just stretching us beyond stretching- well at least thats the way it feels. So if you have been following my blog you know we are praying for breakthrough. Our loans for the business have not come through yet - its actually been a very cruelling process. And many of our clients are simply just not paying. So its been a very triing time in our house. Papa is making provision though.
This morning as I was laying in bed talking with the Lord - I think I was sorta whining. Yep I said whining. Ugh I hate sounding like a whiner. And that is exactly what I sounded like. It actually made me mad. I was like Lord I need to know that you love me and your here for me - bla bla bla. I'm serious. I just stopped and thought about if I was standing by God and listening to me and then I was like wow I sound like a wimpy baby! Boy did that fire me up. So I changed my frame of thinking - So this is sorta what my conversation changed too. " ok Lord the truth is I love you. and I am so hungry for you! I am so thirsty for more of you! I long to be in your presence. To be filled with your dews of heaven. To be filled with your joy. " uhhhhhhhhhh deep breath. Ya know what just dawned on me then- the enemy has been cyphening our joy! So out of bed I jumped and up the stairs I went and fight mode I was in. I gathered the family and cranked on some worship music and said to the family "dance!" We are going to worship and dance for our joy back. So Cooper standing on his chair eating his breakfast shakin his tush. Chloe rockin and spinning w/ Mckenzie. Cade jumping up and down and Daddy doing a little twist. I love it! I am not going to let the enemy rob my joy or my love! Enough!
It changed the way I thought my day might go. Thank you Lord that you love me so!
This morning as I was laying in bed talking with the Lord - I think I was sorta whining. Yep I said whining. Ugh I hate sounding like a whiner. And that is exactly what I sounded like. It actually made me mad. I was like Lord I need to know that you love me and your here for me - bla bla bla. I'm serious. I just stopped and thought about if I was standing by God and listening to me and then I was like wow I sound like a wimpy baby! Boy did that fire me up. So I changed my frame of thinking - So this is sorta what my conversation changed too. " ok Lord the truth is I love you. and I am so hungry for you! I am so thirsty for more of you! I long to be in your presence. To be filled with your dews of heaven. To be filled with your joy. " uhhhhhhhhhh deep breath. Ya know what just dawned on me then- the enemy has been cyphening our joy! So out of bed I jumped and up the stairs I went and fight mode I was in. I gathered the family and cranked on some worship music and said to the family "dance!" We are going to worship and dance for our joy back. So Cooper standing on his chair eating his breakfast shakin his tush. Chloe rockin and spinning w/ Mckenzie. Cade jumping up and down and Daddy doing a little twist. I love it! I am not going to let the enemy rob my joy or my love! Enough!
It changed the way I thought my day might go. Thank you Lord that you love me so!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
What would you say to God?
Early this morning I was awaken from a weird dream and might I add most of my dreams are weird but there was such a presence with this dream that it woke me. So as I lay in bed I sorta drifted off into a zone of everything that is going on in my life - completely awake might I add. Then I felt this heavy presence come on me again. So I just began praying. I felt like I had someone pressing my arms down. And it left and I sat up looked around and laid down again and it happened again. And that was it.
When I awoke this morning - later I was just quietly wondering about this experience-as its not the first time this has happened - usually always w/ a different twist or dream or vision. Not this time though.
To be completely honest with you I have been asking the Lord to come to his heavens, to walk w/ him to see him, to touch his garment. To know his heart and what he's thinking.
My thoughts clearly went to what will I ask you when this happens. I mean what will I say to Papa when I am standing fully in his presence. I mean will I even be able to stand? Will I try to say something and nothing will come out of my mouth? Or will I cry? Sorta reminds me of that song- I can only imagine.... But its not going to be my imagination!
I think I know what I want to say and ask. How about you? What would you say?
When I awoke this morning - later I was just quietly wondering about this experience-as its not the first time this has happened - usually always w/ a different twist or dream or vision. Not this time though.
To be completely honest with you I have been asking the Lord to come to his heavens, to walk w/ him to see him, to touch his garment. To know his heart and what he's thinking.
My thoughts clearly went to what will I ask you when this happens. I mean what will I say to Papa when I am standing fully in his presence. I mean will I even be able to stand? Will I try to say something and nothing will come out of my mouth? Or will I cry? Sorta reminds me of that song- I can only imagine.... But its not going to be my imagination!
I think I know what I want to say and ask. How about you? What would you say?
Thursday, November 5, 2009
I Love Birthdays!
Today is #2's birthday. She turns 8! I still can't believe it! We had a rockin birhtday party for her on Sunday. We played some fun games ate cupcakes and went for a hayride. I think it was a hit! We were expecting about 11 kids and we ended up having 20. Ha! I totally love lovin on kids. Alot of the siblings came to drop off the kids so I was like hey just stay.... So we had a blast!
This morning I was getting the "doodle" ready for school and Nana called to sing happy birthday to her - I was like "ah man - I always am the first one to sing to you!" So I scooped her up in my arms and sang "you are so beautiful to me" to her with tears in my eyes and love just pouring out of hers. Ahhhhh a moment in time to put in my treasure box. I just love her so! She truley is an amazing
This morning I was getting the "doodle" ready for school and Nana called to sing happy birthday to her - I was like "ah man - I always am the first one to sing to you!" So I scooped her up in my arms and sang "you are so beautiful to me" to her with tears in my eyes and love just pouring out of hers. Ahhhhh a moment in time to put in my treasure box. I just love her so! She truley is an amazing
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
ummm Lord are you still there?
Hey where did you go? Lord are you still there? Are you still listening? I can't seem to find you at the moment.... are you hiding?
This IS exactly how I feel. I believe there is many people that feel this way and probably give up seaching for him. When things don't go the way - well the way I want them to go, I get frustrated. Do you? Am I really frustrated right now? You have NO idea!
Maybe your battle isn't financial maybe its healing, maybe its disbelief. Check this scripture out Galations 6;9 let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Today and well yesterday and the day before has been... Lord did I miss you - did we not do something right? Whats wrong? I am no longer confering w/ people - period. I am seeking "him". We have not received the breakthrough that we have been praying for. Actually everytime I think we are about there something else happens. Things are so intense in our house right now. It is finally effecting my husband. Before it was all on me. But I do believe the Lord wants him to partake in the fire as well. The bank stiffened up its demands so much that our back up investor decided that we need to find a more reasonable bank. Let this be a tip for all you- do not tick off the president of a bank or there spouse if you do business with them!
I have to say that I am very proud of my hubby for putting all of his time and effort into nurturing his business. He is amazing! Him and his partner were working for the president of the bank that finances our business and there happened to be a disagreement between my husbands partner and the presidents wife. So they decided that it would be best they didnt work for them anymore. So this was 3 or 4 months ago. Now the banks demands for our loans and what nots have become so unreasonable. Total power thing. Its pitiful! Really! Is this what people do if you tick them off. Threaten to destroy your credit and yank there funding out from under them if you don't answer there demands. This is total pride and arragonce. And we are in the middle of it and reaping the benifits of it. Yea us.
So as we formulate a new plan and go to another bank we are in a waiting period. I honestly believe Papa will work this out for the better. And this is all apart of the shaking and breakthrough we are praying for.
Jeremiah 29:11-12 "for I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."
I love this scripture- I actually pray this as a prayer and think of when things get really tough.
Also I love this scripture:
1corinthians 2:9 "What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived- these things God has prepared for those who love him"
Its really not in bold in the bible but it should be. I'm going to tell you right now that I love the Lord! And today in one of my ongoing prayer pep rally talks that I have w/ "him" and then myself and them"him" was. " Father I am going to love you know matter what. If we lose our house and have to claim bankruptcy then so be it. I don't want that - but you know the future you know what lies ahead and my hope is in you all day long!" {a side note : this was the conversation I had today w/ God in my laundry room. and I wasn't like boo hoo or whoa is me. but w/ tears and all out plea.
I have made the decision to follow him no matter what. Rich or poor. breakthrough or no. hot or cold. health or not.
I am not stopping pursuing him!
He has made promises over me and my family and I am not forgetting them!
He has made promises over you- did you know that? Cmon did you? Have you said a prayer and it wasn't answered? so you gave up? you said he's not real? or he doesn't love you?
Our God is deep and wonderful and so full of treasure and he longs to share it. Well I want it. I want to go deeper and higher and I want to see him and walk with him. I long to wrap my arms around him.
I AM NOT GIVING UP! I AM NOT STOPPING! I MIGHT BE IN THE FURNACE! I DONT CARE! I AM GOING TO SEE BREAKTHROUGH COME FOR MY FAMILY AND FOR ME! AND WHEN I DO - YOU ARE GOING TO KNOW! IF I CAN DO IT- THEN SO CAN YOU !!!!!!!
This IS exactly how I feel. I believe there is many people that feel this way and probably give up seaching for him. When things don't go the way - well the way I want them to go, I get frustrated. Do you? Am I really frustrated right now? You have NO idea!
Maybe your battle isn't financial maybe its healing, maybe its disbelief. Check this scripture out Galations 6;9 let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Today and well yesterday and the day before has been... Lord did I miss you - did we not do something right? Whats wrong? I am no longer confering w/ people - period. I am seeking "him". We have not received the breakthrough that we have been praying for. Actually everytime I think we are about there something else happens. Things are so intense in our house right now. It is finally effecting my husband. Before it was all on me. But I do believe the Lord wants him to partake in the fire as well. The bank stiffened up its demands so much that our back up investor decided that we need to find a more reasonable bank. Let this be a tip for all you- do not tick off the president of a bank or there spouse if you do business with them!
I have to say that I am very proud of my hubby for putting all of his time and effort into nurturing his business. He is amazing! Him and his partner were working for the president of the bank that finances our business and there happened to be a disagreement between my husbands partner and the presidents wife. So they decided that it would be best they didnt work for them anymore. So this was 3 or 4 months ago. Now the banks demands for our loans and what nots have become so unreasonable. Total power thing. Its pitiful! Really! Is this what people do if you tick them off. Threaten to destroy your credit and yank there funding out from under them if you don't answer there demands. This is total pride and arragonce. And we are in the middle of it and reaping the benifits of it. Yea us.
So as we formulate a new plan and go to another bank we are in a waiting period. I honestly believe Papa will work this out for the better. And this is all apart of the shaking and breakthrough we are praying for.
Jeremiah 29:11-12 "for I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."
I love this scripture- I actually pray this as a prayer and think of when things get really tough.
Also I love this scripture:
1corinthians 2:9 "What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived- these things God has prepared for those who love him"
Its really not in bold in the bible but it should be. I'm going to tell you right now that I love the Lord! And today in one of my ongoing prayer pep rally talks that I have w/ "him" and then myself and them"him" was. " Father I am going to love you know matter what. If we lose our house and have to claim bankruptcy then so be it. I don't want that - but you know the future you know what lies ahead and my hope is in you all day long!" {a side note : this was the conversation I had today w/ God in my laundry room. and I wasn't like boo hoo or whoa is me. but w/ tears and all out plea.
I have made the decision to follow him no matter what. Rich or poor. breakthrough or no. hot or cold. health or not.
I am not stopping pursuing him!
He has made promises over me and my family and I am not forgetting them!
He has made promises over you- did you know that? Cmon did you? Have you said a prayer and it wasn't answered? so you gave up? you said he's not real? or he doesn't love you?
Our God is deep and wonderful and so full of treasure and he longs to share it. Well I want it. I want to go deeper and higher and I want to see him and walk with him. I long to wrap my arms around him.
I AM NOT GIVING UP! I AM NOT STOPPING! I MIGHT BE IN THE FURNACE! I DONT CARE! I AM GOING TO SEE BREAKTHROUGH COME FOR MY FAMILY AND FOR ME! AND WHEN I DO - YOU ARE GOING TO KNOW! IF I CAN DO IT- THEN SO CAN YOU !!!!!!!
Friday, October 23, 2009
I think the atmosphere has changed...
Its Friday! A long way from Monday! Can I just tell you! Wow! I am going to tell you and I'm not sure if I can completely explain it but.... something is different. The atmoshpere has changed. Some sort of shift has happend - whether it was in the heavenlys or here on earth or just in my house. I can feel it. Things were not so good last week. Very intense. Now its like its just melting away.
I had some incredible dreams this week and visitations - that I am not going to share but that I feel has triggered this.
We have been praying for breakthrough for 2 years. Yes 2 years and the last year and a half has been intense.
I dont know but I think we are at the point of entry. It sure feels like it!
Am i being evasive? ummm lets see.... yes I am. I love blogging even if no one reads it! Its such a great way to sort and clear my mind.
Lets start with Monday night or Tuesday morning.... I had a dream that I believed turn into a visistation of angels. Well that was enough to change my perspesctive. Every nite since I have had revelatory dreams. So now this is getting exciting. I'm not sure what it all meant and I am praying for revelation. But to explain it a little better its like I have been in the sahara desert. And its starting to rain. And this morning I was reading Isaiah 41:17-20 which talks about the poor and needy in search of water- trust me just read the scripture. I was like oh wow I never saw that before. This describes me. hmmmm.
We have been praying for breakthrough and 2 times this week the words jumped off a page of a book or newspaper or something like that. I was like hmmm thats never happened before- I havent seen those words in anything Ive been reading.
We have been waiting to hear back from the bank for loans and other things that would help grow the biz and also solve our timing issues being that we are a small biz. I had a dream yesterday we were denied and when the bank called and said we would have to front cash or cd's - I really wasn't surprised. So I was like ok Lord this is all in your hands.
Because of the economy the banks are not giving free money unless you have lots in collateral or whatever. Lets just say someone w/ lots of what they need stepped in and said what ever you need- I support you and will do whatever to see your biz grow.
Ok uh .... hmmm. ok ... WOW! this is huge! But then I was like Lord the dream. And I felt like he said The dream was only part of it. If I didnt want this I would have hardend his heart so He wouldn't have offered. oh ok.
So the end of the week is much different then the beginning and the week isn't over . Yea God.
I feel like the Lord is saying "lets get something started".
Can you feel it? I really think something in the atmosphere has changed... just sayin.
I had some incredible dreams this week and visitations - that I am not going to share but that I feel has triggered this.
We have been praying for breakthrough for 2 years. Yes 2 years and the last year and a half has been intense.
I dont know but I think we are at the point of entry. It sure feels like it!
Am i being evasive? ummm lets see.... yes I am. I love blogging even if no one reads it! Its such a great way to sort and clear my mind.
Lets start with Monday night or Tuesday morning.... I had a dream that I believed turn into a visistation of angels. Well that was enough to change my perspesctive. Every nite since I have had revelatory dreams. So now this is getting exciting. I'm not sure what it all meant and I am praying for revelation. But to explain it a little better its like I have been in the sahara desert. And its starting to rain. And this morning I was reading Isaiah 41:17-20 which talks about the poor and needy in search of water- trust me just read the scripture. I was like oh wow I never saw that before. This describes me. hmmmm.
We have been praying for breakthrough and 2 times this week the words jumped off a page of a book or newspaper or something like that. I was like hmmm thats never happened before- I havent seen those words in anything Ive been reading.
We have been waiting to hear back from the bank for loans and other things that would help grow the biz and also solve our timing issues being that we are a small biz. I had a dream yesterday we were denied and when the bank called and said we would have to front cash or cd's - I really wasn't surprised. So I was like ok Lord this is all in your hands.
Because of the economy the banks are not giving free money unless you have lots in collateral or whatever. Lets just say someone w/ lots of what they need stepped in and said what ever you need- I support you and will do whatever to see your biz grow.
Ok uh .... hmmm. ok ... WOW! this is huge! But then I was like Lord the dream. And I felt like he said The dream was only part of it. If I didnt want this I would have hardend his heart so He wouldn't have offered. oh ok.
So the end of the week is much different then the beginning and the week isn't over . Yea God.
I feel like the Lord is saying "lets get something started".
Can you feel it? I really think something in the atmosphere has changed... just sayin.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Lord what is in store for us this week?
Wow we survived! What a crazy week! Talk about a shakin! Can I just tell you that several weeks ago we declared as husband and wife that we would seek "his" kingdom first. When we need help we wouldn't ask or tell but come to Papa. And so the testing has begun.
First our oven stopped working and is still NOT but I have a long time old friend coming to fix it. Then our land line phone quit working and yes like I told my husband I did pay the bill. And then Friday night my van died ( thank you Jesus it was only the battery ). Can anyone relate? Well thats not all. We were cashless and no food (well basics like bread, milk, meat).
I know I probably come across basically optimistic. I cried a lot! The week before it was about paying our utilities so they wouldnt be shut off and by the end of the week it was everything else. Hey it could have been much worse! Really! Last week the Lord provided money to go to the store, he showed Kevin what was wrong with the phone so he could fix it and the van.
This is one of the most incredible times that we are living in. As a family. We have never indured so much. I can't explain it but I feel like a super hero super natural strength). Like a survivor. Papa came and he provided. And it was amazing!
Maybe to some it doesn't seem like much. But when everything else is taken away - what is left - you are so grateful for! Even the smallest- which in our case was huge!
So this morning as I was sitting at the computer this all dawned at me. Wow we survived. We are still alive! Yea God! Then I was thinking oh Lord. What will this week bring? sigh.... all I can say is Father I love you and I will love you no matter what. Maybe breakthrough will happen this week. Maybe it won't... but I am not going to stop praying or believing. We are going to keep pushing through. Even when I feel like quitting... I' m not! My trust is in you Lord all day long!
First our oven stopped working and is still NOT but I have a long time old friend coming to fix it. Then our land line phone quit working and yes like I told my husband I did pay the bill. And then Friday night my van died ( thank you Jesus it was only the battery ). Can anyone relate? Well thats not all. We were cashless and no food (well basics like bread, milk, meat).
I know I probably come across basically optimistic. I cried a lot! The week before it was about paying our utilities so they wouldnt be shut off and by the end of the week it was everything else. Hey it could have been much worse! Really! Last week the Lord provided money to go to the store, he showed Kevin what was wrong with the phone so he could fix it and the van.
This is one of the most incredible times that we are living in. As a family. We have never indured so much. I can't explain it but I feel like a super hero super natural strength). Like a survivor. Papa came and he provided. And it was amazing!
Maybe to some it doesn't seem like much. But when everything else is taken away - what is left - you are so grateful for! Even the smallest- which in our case was huge!
So this morning as I was sitting at the computer this all dawned at me. Wow we survived. We are still alive! Yea God! Then I was thinking oh Lord. What will this week bring? sigh.... all I can say is Father I love you and I will love you no matter what. Maybe breakthrough will happen this week. Maybe it won't... but I am not going to stop praying or believing. We are going to keep pushing through. Even when I feel like quitting... I' m not! My trust is in you Lord all day long!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
get ready for the shift...
Wow what an incredible last couple of weeks I have had. I just didn't have the heart to post until I got a grasp on what is going on. It has been 2 years of declaring prosperity and debtfreeness over our house hold. We have been praying for the "biz" to prosper and our finances to be better with less debt and more money at the end of the week. We have been praying for a "change" in our inheritance for our children. That our children would be a part of a prospering family. For some reading this I should maybe explain this is not about getting rich and buying toys. This is not about money although at times money it is the root to our troubles. This is simply about walking in the plans the Lord has for us and prospering in it. I will say that after 2 years we are a little less in debt. So thats good. Although there is no money left over. So let me tell you about the last 2-3 weeks...
About 2 months ago (haha I know I said 2-3 weeks- just bear w/ me) are blue chip healthcare got denied for the kids and we were told that medicade would get it and deny it and boot it back to blue chip but medicade decided to accept it. Yea for us. So I spent the last 6 weeks fighting it. Most of this occured because of our taxes and owning a business and write-offs and bla bla bla.
The day before the final day of debating this with a "caseworker" I really felt the Lord saying to me - I need to stop accepting a poverty mentality. I'm like "Lord is that you?" "c'mon how can i not have a poverty mentality when we are excepting public welfare? bla! I really went around and around w/ Papa about this. Of course he won. A few days before I had this flashing thought "how dirty are you willing to get?" whoa.. what was that? then i heard it again... " where are willing to go for me?"... man this wrecked me. I was like Lord I will go where you tell me to go... where ever that may be.- i meant it. and i still do. So then I had complete peace w/ accepting this medicade. So I spent the day on the phone figuring out the new doctors and moving records around. We havent been to the new dr. yet but its in the "big city". I checked it out and well its not going to be... well better like this... " toto were not in Kansa anymore" that is for sure. But I have complete peace about it. Its all very weird.
I heard this phrase "everything in the kingdom is upside down" well I believe there is a "shift"taking place now! Here! My family. I keep hearing this over and over again" Get ready for a shift" .
Now the next part I am going to share w/ you - I feel like I should but please- do not take pity or whatever I just feel there is someone that needs to read this. These last 3 weeks have been the most intense finacially we have gone through. I'm not really sure because its been worse. A good friend asked me "so hows it going?" BOY was that the wrong thing to say to me. I was like bla blba bla about healthcare and bills and money and in between all of that I was like " I felt like the Lord said to me "Ask me where I want to take the "biz". and bla bla bla. So my friend was like uh are you applying that to your own situation at home w/ money and bills and whatever....?
um yea um NO! WOW was that like turning on the lightbulb. Thankyou friend for being obeidiant to the Lord and what you are sensing. Papa has so been triing to convey this to me and I sooooo just was not getting this. Man did I repent on my knees. And so the next couple of weeks we have been livin on total faith. And I am so thankful of Gods grace on me. All I can say is we have had no money to buy food and my oven is down and that was all offered to be taken care of this week. I cant think of next week but I am trusting in the Lord for today and next week he will take care of that too. Its a growing list of things that need fixed or replaced or whatever... I am seeking him first - his kingdom. I think this all a must in order to "shift". I have never been in this place before. Its extrememly uncomfortable. But I have this very weird peace. ( which is totally God) but its also extrememly exhilarating. not sure if that makes sence at all but.... thats just where we are at. Well thats it for now. There really is so much more to share - oh wait 1 more thing. The last 2 years i have been waking up at 3:40- which I felt meant complete trial. This past spring there was a "shift" to 3:41. complete the fullness of promises. And these past couple of weeks its been crazy stuff like 11:11 change change and 11:41 and 1:11 and every combo of these #"s . I felt like I was getting a little obsessed about it and I have been triing not to look at the clock and so when I do its been these #'s only. And Ive seen them other places- like my pager at church this past saturday and the total at the grocery store or I dont even remember. I feel like our family is cresting - at the point of breakthrough. I am declaring it! I know it will come. ok now I'm done.
About 2 months ago (haha I know I said 2-3 weeks- just bear w/ me) are blue chip healthcare got denied for the kids and we were told that medicade would get it and deny it and boot it back to blue chip but medicade decided to accept it. Yea for us. So I spent the last 6 weeks fighting it. Most of this occured because of our taxes and owning a business and write-offs and bla bla bla.
The day before the final day of debating this with a "caseworker" I really felt the Lord saying to me - I need to stop accepting a poverty mentality. I'm like "Lord is that you?" "c'mon how can i not have a poverty mentality when we are excepting public welfare? bla! I really went around and around w/ Papa about this. Of course he won. A few days before I had this flashing thought "how dirty are you willing to get?" whoa.. what was that? then i heard it again... " where are willing to go for me?"... man this wrecked me. I was like Lord I will go where you tell me to go... where ever that may be.- i meant it. and i still do. So then I had complete peace w/ accepting this medicade. So I spent the day on the phone figuring out the new doctors and moving records around. We havent been to the new dr. yet but its in the "big city". I checked it out and well its not going to be... well better like this... " toto were not in Kansa anymore" that is for sure. But I have complete peace about it. Its all very weird.
I heard this phrase "everything in the kingdom is upside down" well I believe there is a "shift"taking place now! Here! My family. I keep hearing this over and over again" Get ready for a shift" .
Now the next part I am going to share w/ you - I feel like I should but please- do not take pity or whatever I just feel there is someone that needs to read this. These last 3 weeks have been the most intense finacially we have gone through. I'm not really sure because its been worse. A good friend asked me "so hows it going?" BOY was that the wrong thing to say to me. I was like bla blba bla about healthcare and bills and money and in between all of that I was like " I felt like the Lord said to me "Ask me where I want to take the "biz". and bla bla bla. So my friend was like uh are you applying that to your own situation at home w/ money and bills and whatever....?
um yea um NO! WOW was that like turning on the lightbulb. Thankyou friend for being obeidiant to the Lord and what you are sensing. Papa has so been triing to convey this to me and I sooooo just was not getting this. Man did I repent on my knees. And so the next couple of weeks we have been livin on total faith. And I am so thankful of Gods grace on me. All I can say is we have had no money to buy food and my oven is down and that was all offered to be taken care of this week. I cant think of next week but I am trusting in the Lord for today and next week he will take care of that too. Its a growing list of things that need fixed or replaced or whatever... I am seeking him first - his kingdom. I think this all a must in order to "shift". I have never been in this place before. Its extrememly uncomfortable. But I have this very weird peace. ( which is totally God) but its also extrememly exhilarating. not sure if that makes sence at all but.... thats just where we are at. Well thats it for now. There really is so much more to share - oh wait 1 more thing. The last 2 years i have been waking up at 3:40- which I felt meant complete trial. This past spring there was a "shift" to 3:41. complete the fullness of promises. And these past couple of weeks its been crazy stuff like 11:11 change change and 11:41 and 1:11 and every combo of these #"s . I felt like I was getting a little obsessed about it and I have been triing not to look at the clock and so when I do its been these #'s only. And Ive seen them other places- like my pager at church this past saturday and the total at the grocery store or I dont even remember. I feel like our family is cresting - at the point of breakthrough. I am declaring it! I know it will come. ok now I'm done.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Mish-Mash and why this name...
I would have to say that when I hear the term Mish-Mash I sorta think well thats me in a nut shell. Not in a bad way but its me. I love everything. Ask me what kind of music and I say "well.... I like everything" or what stlye fits you best? well I really appreciate the creativity and beauty in everything I see. So I'm partial. When I talk to someone I have a habit of falling in love with them {haha sidenote- not in a weird creepy way- i have to point this out because this is just how I reason}. I tend to see in them what makes them precious. This is such a cool gift from the Lord and I am praying for more. So I am all heart. So I have many interests and one of them has always been music. I love to worship and soak in his presence. I have always loved music. I even played in the school band for 6 years. Ok what instrument do you think that was? Drums. yep I was a drummer. Not very good though. I was the only girl and I had big shoes to follow. I loved to sit at the piano and organ and tinker around. My grandfather taught me how to play the organ. A few years ago we decided to get a piano for the kids so they could learn. Can I just tell you I am guilty of using it for my stereo and cds not to play music.
The past couple of weeks I have felt so drawn to sitting at the piano and try to play. Remembering all the chords and what not. But you know everytime I sit down I begin to remember a lit bit more. Yea! Today I sat down to tinker and I just kept playing the chords I know. And then the coolest thing happened. A thought just cut right through my own. I believe it was my Lord. He said "I am so glad to see you playing again". This just wrecked me. Wow Abba Father noticed? He is enjoying me playing to him? How amazing is that?
I know that the Lord has designed me w/ many different materials and colors. I believe he is ironing me together. As he does this he is showing me who he is and allowing me to fall in love with him. I am in pursuit of being in reckless abandanment... with him.
The past couple of weeks I have felt so drawn to sitting at the piano and try to play. Remembering all the chords and what not. But you know everytime I sit down I begin to remember a lit bit more. Yea! Today I sat down to tinker and I just kept playing the chords I know. And then the coolest thing happened. A thought just cut right through my own. I believe it was my Lord. He said "I am so glad to see you playing again". This just wrecked me. Wow Abba Father noticed? He is enjoying me playing to him? How amazing is that?
I know that the Lord has designed me w/ many different materials and colors. I believe he is ironing me together. As he does this he is showing me who he is and allowing me to fall in love with him. I am in pursuit of being in reckless abandanment... with him.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
mish-mash...my life
This is my first blog so I do feel compelled to tell a bit about myself since you probably know very little about me. I really have nothing to hide and when talking with someone I will tell them anything about myself and family but at times when I am deep in thought I tend to feel very private about the issues of my day.
I am a momma of 4 awesome little love bugs. I will use initials. C.M-10, M.L.-7, C.E.-4 and C.J-3.
If you would have asked me when I was younger how many kids I wanted to have I probably would have said "I donno" and when we found out we were expecting #4 life radically changed. We realized that everything would change. Our careers, what we drive, our living arrangements, our babysitting arrangements, where we dine and what we eat, our jobs and most importantly where we worshipped. At the time we were not attending church. We were not content on where we were going so we just weren't going... not to mention our careers were center stage and that was an obstacle.
It occured to me 1 evening at work(i was a manager for a steak house) that my children didn't really know who Jesus was and I was in no way raising them in a godly home. It wasn't that I didn't believe I was just running from him. {side note: i felt called at a young age of 16 to be called to the missions field and ministry- it was even prophesied over me that i would lead thousands to christ. And yet I was so lost because I didnt have an intimate relationship w/ God. I was saved and I could speak in tongues. and Iknew I wanted to somehow impact the world. I just was sorta lost then. I didn't really fit in anywhere- all my friends were drinking and having sex and in college-and here I was... I was scarred that I would fail. I just didnt know what to do. It was like I had no one to help me and I got lost and so i ran for a long time.} So we began attending CCC again(this was the church I grew up in) because they had Saturday night services and I was off. About 2 months later I went into premature labor w/ #4. He came 8 weeks early and spent the next 5 weeks of his life in the nicu. This was the absolute turning point in my life. The best way for me to explain it in a short amount of words is this. God touched my life as he healed CJ. I never really witnessed a healing before but I know now God was showing me that he is just as much real today as he was 2000 yrs ago. And that HE LOVES ME. That was a hard thing to grasp. I mean I really messed up. I was not perfect (and I still am not). I mean you hear Pastors say it but until then I didn't understand. God used my premature labor and baby to consume my life. To come and erase every lie that the enemy had ever whispered. I was dumbfounded. So from then my life was different. I'm leaving out much detail.
So we currently still attend CCC and I help to coordinate the nurserys on tuesday morning sept thru may. It might not sound so great but really the Lord totally opened the door for this. I was able to meet and get to know a lot of the moms at our church and their awesome kiddos. It also has been a time for me to sit under the direction of the childrens pastor and learn so much from her and others that coordinate. So I feel like right now I am in training for a ministry yet to be forseen. I long to study whether its in a school of ministry or actual college. But right now my actual time is in high demand w/ my family. Like I said though I am on a journey it my time will change as my children become less demanding and more independant. My kids do go to public school and this is where I feel they are suppose to be but I also know that could change.
I decided to retire from management 2yrs ago so I could focus on being a full time momma. It was not an easy decision. I cried and prayed a lot about this move. It was a total step in faith. We really needed that 2nd income. Several years before my husband(hammy) started a landscape buisness. Every year his buisness grew. 2 falls ago he joined partners w/ a longtime friend of his that also had a small landscape biz. So this is the 3rd fall going into partnership. Last spring Hammy quit his full time job as a youth counselor and jumped both feet into their buisness. Also another big step of faith. The Lord has been good to us.
So we basically went from 3 incomes to 1 income. talk about life changing. I cant even begin to tell you. In a way its been hard but in a way its been a highlight in our lives. We are living in total faith that God will provide. Everything from jobs to food to clothes. A family of 6 is not cheap! We have been humbled. When I look back at this past year- which has been the most intense... we never did with out. We live in a older but nice neighborhood. Everyone works. At times it would get a little frustrating seeing other familys buy nice new cars and put on nice additions and accross from us they just built 6 new homes that are double what are house is worth. There kids walk around w/ cell phones and are enrolled in smancy events and money money money. I'm just praying I can pay the bills and afford to buy grocerys. {just being real w/ you}. But when i walk back into my house I am greatly and quickly reminded that everyday is worth it. I get to be a momma. I dont have to depend on any babysitter or worry if they are taken care of. I truely thank God daily that I dont work right now.
I feel that we are still being humbled and actually I am praying to be humbled more. I really don't like it. {just being honest} The other day we had our water shut off. I have not shared this w/ anyone. Ha what a place to right? Thru this whole transformation we have been going thru we never really had anything shut off {once our cable for a week} so at least not of great importance. I simply forgot to pay the bill. It was due 2 days prior(and a month late) so we owed like $100. I heard someone outside and thought it was someone reading the meter. They never knocked on the door. Just hung a HUGE sign for all to see. So i was totally embarrassed. I immediately called the water company and paid the whole bill. And they told me it would take 24 to 72 hours to turn back on. AHHHH. are you kidding me? So like what am I suppose to do w/ no water for 4 days- stay at the holiday inn? not in the budget. So I packed up the little ones and the dog and started driving around my neighborhood looking for this man in the watervan. Yep you heard me I DROVE AROUND MY NEIGHBORHOOD LOOKING FOR THE PAWC GUY! And can you believe I found him. Ha! I cant even believe I did this! I cut him off and made him stop and I hopped out of my van and ran over to his and told him where I lived and asked him very nicely to come and turn my water back on. Of course he said NO! humph! can you believe that? I'm like "i have 4 little kids - i cant wait 4 days" the guys like I'm a grandpa-i understand but I cant turn it back on. So what was I to do. Of course the waterworks turned on but I turned and thanked him and respectfully got back in my van. My kids were like mom why are you criing.- oh I hate that. So I didn't know what else to do so I put my head on the steering wheel and cried and asked the Lord to take care of this for me because I have done all that I could do. I drove out to my parents for 2 hours and drank lots of water and let the kids swim and then we turned around and came home only to find that my water was turned back on. Thankyou Lord.
My life is a journey and I am loving it. Not having my water shut off but the aftereffects. I know that Papa is watching over me and my family. We apparently have much to learn. But my heart is burning for those that don't have. What I mean is I can choose to ignore those that are in need but now I can't. Whatever your walking through the Lord is using it to strengthen you so you can impact others. If someone is in need of food- I will give them food. If someone is in need. I will give what I can.
Sorry this was so long. just sharing.
love & peace
kelly
I am a momma of 4 awesome little love bugs. I will use initials. C.M-10, M.L.-7, C.E.-4 and C.J-3.
If you would have asked me when I was younger how many kids I wanted to have I probably would have said "I donno" and when we found out we were expecting #4 life radically changed. We realized that everything would change. Our careers, what we drive, our living arrangements, our babysitting arrangements, where we dine and what we eat, our jobs and most importantly where we worshipped. At the time we were not attending church. We were not content on where we were going so we just weren't going... not to mention our careers were center stage and that was an obstacle.
It occured to me 1 evening at work(i was a manager for a steak house) that my children didn't really know who Jesus was and I was in no way raising them in a godly home. It wasn't that I didn't believe I was just running from him. {side note: i felt called at a young age of 16 to be called to the missions field and ministry- it was even prophesied over me that i would lead thousands to christ. And yet I was so lost because I didnt have an intimate relationship w/ God. I was saved and I could speak in tongues. and Iknew I wanted to somehow impact the world. I just was sorta lost then. I didn't really fit in anywhere- all my friends were drinking and having sex and in college-and here I was... I was scarred that I would fail. I just didnt know what to do. It was like I had no one to help me and I got lost and so i ran for a long time.} So we began attending CCC again(this was the church I grew up in) because they had Saturday night services and I was off. About 2 months later I went into premature labor w/ #4. He came 8 weeks early and spent the next 5 weeks of his life in the nicu. This was the absolute turning point in my life. The best way for me to explain it in a short amount of words is this. God touched my life as he healed CJ. I never really witnessed a healing before but I know now God was showing me that he is just as much real today as he was 2000 yrs ago. And that HE LOVES ME. That was a hard thing to grasp. I mean I really messed up. I was not perfect (and I still am not). I mean you hear Pastors say it but until then I didn't understand. God used my premature labor and baby to consume my life. To come and erase every lie that the enemy had ever whispered. I was dumbfounded. So from then my life was different. I'm leaving out much detail.
So we currently still attend CCC and I help to coordinate the nurserys on tuesday morning sept thru may. It might not sound so great but really the Lord totally opened the door for this. I was able to meet and get to know a lot of the moms at our church and their awesome kiddos. It also has been a time for me to sit under the direction of the childrens pastor and learn so much from her and others that coordinate. So I feel like right now I am in training for a ministry yet to be forseen. I long to study whether its in a school of ministry or actual college. But right now my actual time is in high demand w/ my family. Like I said though I am on a journey it my time will change as my children become less demanding and more independant. My kids do go to public school and this is where I feel they are suppose to be but I also know that could change.
I decided to retire from management 2yrs ago so I could focus on being a full time momma. It was not an easy decision. I cried and prayed a lot about this move. It was a total step in faith. We really needed that 2nd income. Several years before my husband(hammy) started a landscape buisness. Every year his buisness grew. 2 falls ago he joined partners w/ a longtime friend of his that also had a small landscape biz. So this is the 3rd fall going into partnership. Last spring Hammy quit his full time job as a youth counselor and jumped both feet into their buisness. Also another big step of faith. The Lord has been good to us.
So we basically went from 3 incomes to 1 income. talk about life changing. I cant even begin to tell you. In a way its been hard but in a way its been a highlight in our lives. We are living in total faith that God will provide. Everything from jobs to food to clothes. A family of 6 is not cheap! We have been humbled. When I look back at this past year- which has been the most intense... we never did with out. We live in a older but nice neighborhood. Everyone works. At times it would get a little frustrating seeing other familys buy nice new cars and put on nice additions and accross from us they just built 6 new homes that are double what are house is worth. There kids walk around w/ cell phones and are enrolled in smancy events and money money money. I'm just praying I can pay the bills and afford to buy grocerys. {just being real w/ you}. But when i walk back into my house I am greatly and quickly reminded that everyday is worth it. I get to be a momma. I dont have to depend on any babysitter or worry if they are taken care of. I truely thank God daily that I dont work right now.
I feel that we are still being humbled and actually I am praying to be humbled more. I really don't like it. {just being honest} The other day we had our water shut off. I have not shared this w/ anyone. Ha what a place to right? Thru this whole transformation we have been going thru we never really had anything shut off {once our cable for a week} so at least not of great importance. I simply forgot to pay the bill. It was due 2 days prior(and a month late) so we owed like $100. I heard someone outside and thought it was someone reading the meter. They never knocked on the door. Just hung a HUGE sign for all to see. So i was totally embarrassed. I immediately called the water company and paid the whole bill. And they told me it would take 24 to 72 hours to turn back on. AHHHH. are you kidding me? So like what am I suppose to do w/ no water for 4 days- stay at the holiday inn? not in the budget. So I packed up the little ones and the dog and started driving around my neighborhood looking for this man in the watervan. Yep you heard me I DROVE AROUND MY NEIGHBORHOOD LOOKING FOR THE PAWC GUY! And can you believe I found him. Ha! I cant even believe I did this! I cut him off and made him stop and I hopped out of my van and ran over to his and told him where I lived and asked him very nicely to come and turn my water back on. Of course he said NO! humph! can you believe that? I'm like "i have 4 little kids - i cant wait 4 days" the guys like I'm a grandpa-i understand but I cant turn it back on. So what was I to do. Of course the waterworks turned on but I turned and thanked him and respectfully got back in my van. My kids were like mom why are you criing.- oh I hate that. So I didn't know what else to do so I put my head on the steering wheel and cried and asked the Lord to take care of this for me because I have done all that I could do. I drove out to my parents for 2 hours and drank lots of water and let the kids swim and then we turned around and came home only to find that my water was turned back on. Thankyou Lord.
My life is a journey and I am loving it. Not having my water shut off but the aftereffects. I know that Papa is watching over me and my family. We apparently have much to learn. But my heart is burning for those that don't have. What I mean is I can choose to ignore those that are in need but now I can't. Whatever your walking through the Lord is using it to strengthen you so you can impact others. If someone is in need of food- I will give them food. If someone is in need. I will give what I can.
Sorry this was so long. just sharing.
love & peace
kelly
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
