ummm Lord are you still there?

Hey where did you go? Lord are you still there? Are you still listening? I can't seem to find you at the moment.... are you hiding?

This IS exactly how I feel. I believe there is many people that feel this way and probably give up seaching for him. When things don't go the way - well the way I want them to go, I get frustrated. Do you? Am I really frustrated right now? You have NO idea!

Maybe your battle isn't financial maybe its healing, maybe its disbelief. Check this scripture out Galations 6;9 let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Today and well yesterday and the day before has been... Lord did I miss you - did we not do something right? Whats wrong? I am no longer confering w/ people - period. I am seeking "him". We have not received the breakthrough that we have been praying for. Actually everytime I think we are about there something else happens. Things are so intense in our house right now. It is finally effecting my husband. Before it was all on me. But I do believe the Lord wants him to partake in the fire as well. The bank stiffened up its demands so much that our back up investor decided that we need to find a more reasonable bank. Let this be a tip for all you- do not tick off the president of a bank or there spouse if you do business with them!

I have to say that I am very proud of my hubby for putting all of his time and effort into nurturing his business. He is amazing! Him and his partner were working for the president of the bank that finances our business and there happened to be a disagreement between my husbands partner and the presidents wife. So they decided that it would be best they didnt work for them anymore. So this was 3 or 4 months ago. Now the banks demands for our loans and what nots have become so unreasonable. Total power thing. Its pitiful! Really! Is this what people do if you tick them off. Threaten to destroy your credit and yank there funding out from under them if you don't answer there demands. This is total pride and arragonce. And we are in the middle of it and reaping the benifits of it. Yea us.

So as we formulate a new plan and go to another bank we are in a waiting period. I honestly believe Papa will work this out for the better. And this is all apart of the shaking and breakthrough we are praying for.

Jeremiah 29:11-12 "for I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."

I love this scripture- I actually pray this as a prayer and think of when things get really tough.
Also I love this scripture:

1corinthians 2:9 "What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived- these things God has prepared for those who love him"

Its really not in bold in the bible but it should be. I'm going to tell you right now that I love the Lord! And today in one of my ongoing prayer pep rally talks that I have w/ "him" and then myself and them"him" was. " Father I am going to love you know matter what. If we lose our house and have to claim bankruptcy then so be it. I don't want that - but you know the future you know what lies ahead and my hope is in you all day long!" {a side note : this was the conversation I had today w/ God in my laundry room. and I wasn't like boo hoo or whoa is me. but w/ tears and all out plea.

I have made the decision to follow him no matter what. Rich or poor. breakthrough or no. hot or cold. health or not.
I am not stopping pursuing him!

He has made promises over me and my family and I am not forgetting them!

He has made promises over you- did you know that? Cmon did you? Have you said a prayer and it wasn't answered? so you gave up? you said he's not real? or he doesn't love you?

Our God is deep and wonderful and so full of treasure and he longs to share it. Well I want it. I want to go deeper and higher and I want to see him and walk with him. I long to wrap my arms around him.

I AM NOT GIVING UP! I AM NOT STOPPING! I MIGHT BE IN THE FURNACE! I DONT CARE! I AM GOING TO SEE BREAKTHROUGH COME FOR MY FAMILY AND FOR ME! AND WHEN I DO - YOU ARE GOING TO KNOW! IF I CAN DO IT- THEN SO CAN YOU !!!!!!!