I would have to say that when I hear the term Mish-Mash I sorta think well thats me in a nut shell. Not in a bad way but its me. I love everything. Ask me what kind of music and I say "well.... I like everything" or what stlye fits you best? well I really appreciate the creativity and beauty in everything I see. So I'm partial. When I talk to someone I have a habit of falling in love with them {haha sidenote- not in a weird creepy way- i have to point this out because this is just how I reason}. I tend to see in them what makes them precious. This is such a cool gift from the Lord and I am praying for more. So I am all heart. So I have many interests and one of them has always been music. I love to worship and soak in his presence. I have always loved music. I even played in the school band for 6 years. Ok what instrument do you think that was? Drums. yep I was a drummer. Not very good though. I was the only girl and I had big shoes to follow. I loved to sit at the piano and organ and tinker around. My grandfather taught me how to play the organ. A few years ago we decided to get a piano for the kids so they could learn. Can I just tell you I am guilty of using it for my stereo and cds not to play music.
The past couple of weeks I have felt so drawn to sitting at the piano and try to play. Remembering all the chords and what not. But you know everytime I sit down I begin to remember a lit bit more. Yea! Today I sat down to tinker and I just kept playing the chords I know. And then the coolest thing happened. A thought just cut right through my own. I believe it was my Lord. He said "I am so glad to see you playing again". This just wrecked me. Wow Abba Father noticed? He is enjoying me playing to him? How amazing is that?
I know that the Lord has designed me w/ many different materials and colors. I believe he is ironing me together. As he does this he is showing me who he is and allowing me to fall in love with him. I am in pursuit of being in reckless abandanment... with him.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
mish-mash...my life
This is my first blog so I do feel compelled to tell a bit about myself since you probably know very little about me. I really have nothing to hide and when talking with someone I will tell them anything about myself and family but at times when I am deep in thought I tend to feel very private about the issues of my day.
I am a momma of 4 awesome little love bugs. I will use initials. C.M-10, M.L.-7, C.E.-4 and C.J-3.
If you would have asked me when I was younger how many kids I wanted to have I probably would have said "I donno" and when we found out we were expecting #4 life radically changed. We realized that everything would change. Our careers, what we drive, our living arrangements, our babysitting arrangements, where we dine and what we eat, our jobs and most importantly where we worshipped. At the time we were not attending church. We were not content on where we were going so we just weren't going... not to mention our careers were center stage and that was an obstacle.
It occured to me 1 evening at work(i was a manager for a steak house) that my children didn't really know who Jesus was and I was in no way raising them in a godly home. It wasn't that I didn't believe I was just running from him. {side note: i felt called at a young age of 16 to be called to the missions field and ministry- it was even prophesied over me that i would lead thousands to christ. And yet I was so lost because I didnt have an intimate relationship w/ God. I was saved and I could speak in tongues. and Iknew I wanted to somehow impact the world. I just was sorta lost then. I didn't really fit in anywhere- all my friends were drinking and having sex and in college-and here I was... I was scarred that I would fail. I just didnt know what to do. It was like I had no one to help me and I got lost and so i ran for a long time.} So we began attending CCC again(this was the church I grew up in) because they had Saturday night services and I was off. About 2 months later I went into premature labor w/ #4. He came 8 weeks early and spent the next 5 weeks of his life in the nicu. This was the absolute turning point in my life. The best way for me to explain it in a short amount of words is this. God touched my life as he healed CJ. I never really witnessed a healing before but I know now God was showing me that he is just as much real today as he was 2000 yrs ago. And that HE LOVES ME. That was a hard thing to grasp. I mean I really messed up. I was not perfect (and I still am not). I mean you hear Pastors say it but until then I didn't understand. God used my premature labor and baby to consume my life. To come and erase every lie that the enemy had ever whispered. I was dumbfounded. So from then my life was different. I'm leaving out much detail.
So we currently still attend CCC and I help to coordinate the nurserys on tuesday morning sept thru may. It might not sound so great but really the Lord totally opened the door for this. I was able to meet and get to know a lot of the moms at our church and their awesome kiddos. It also has been a time for me to sit under the direction of the childrens pastor and learn so much from her and others that coordinate. So I feel like right now I am in training for a ministry yet to be forseen. I long to study whether its in a school of ministry or actual college. But right now my actual time is in high demand w/ my family. Like I said though I am on a journey it my time will change as my children become less demanding and more independant. My kids do go to public school and this is where I feel they are suppose to be but I also know that could change.
I decided to retire from management 2yrs ago so I could focus on being a full time momma. It was not an easy decision. I cried and prayed a lot about this move. It was a total step in faith. We really needed that 2nd income. Several years before my husband(hammy) started a landscape buisness. Every year his buisness grew. 2 falls ago he joined partners w/ a longtime friend of his that also had a small landscape biz. So this is the 3rd fall going into partnership. Last spring Hammy quit his full time job as a youth counselor and jumped both feet into their buisness. Also another big step of faith. The Lord has been good to us.
So we basically went from 3 incomes to 1 income. talk about life changing. I cant even begin to tell you. In a way its been hard but in a way its been a highlight in our lives. We are living in total faith that God will provide. Everything from jobs to food to clothes. A family of 6 is not cheap! We have been humbled. When I look back at this past year- which has been the most intense... we never did with out. We live in a older but nice neighborhood. Everyone works. At times it would get a little frustrating seeing other familys buy nice new cars and put on nice additions and accross from us they just built 6 new homes that are double what are house is worth. There kids walk around w/ cell phones and are enrolled in smancy events and money money money. I'm just praying I can pay the bills and afford to buy grocerys. {just being real w/ you}. But when i walk back into my house I am greatly and quickly reminded that everyday is worth it. I get to be a momma. I dont have to depend on any babysitter or worry if they are taken care of. I truely thank God daily that I dont work right now.
I feel that we are still being humbled and actually I am praying to be humbled more. I really don't like it. {just being honest} The other day we had our water shut off. I have not shared this w/ anyone. Ha what a place to right? Thru this whole transformation we have been going thru we never really had anything shut off {once our cable for a week} so at least not of great importance. I simply forgot to pay the bill. It was due 2 days prior(and a month late) so we owed like $100. I heard someone outside and thought it was someone reading the meter. They never knocked on the door. Just hung a HUGE sign for all to see. So i was totally embarrassed. I immediately called the water company and paid the whole bill. And they told me it would take 24 to 72 hours to turn back on. AHHHH. are you kidding me? So like what am I suppose to do w/ no water for 4 days- stay at the holiday inn? not in the budget. So I packed up the little ones and the dog and started driving around my neighborhood looking for this man in the watervan. Yep you heard me I DROVE AROUND MY NEIGHBORHOOD LOOKING FOR THE PAWC GUY! And can you believe I found him. Ha! I cant even believe I did this! I cut him off and made him stop and I hopped out of my van and ran over to his and told him where I lived and asked him very nicely to come and turn my water back on. Of course he said NO! humph! can you believe that? I'm like "i have 4 little kids - i cant wait 4 days" the guys like I'm a grandpa-i understand but I cant turn it back on. So what was I to do. Of course the waterworks turned on but I turned and thanked him and respectfully got back in my van. My kids were like mom why are you criing.- oh I hate that. So I didn't know what else to do so I put my head on the steering wheel and cried and asked the Lord to take care of this for me because I have done all that I could do. I drove out to my parents for 2 hours and drank lots of water and let the kids swim and then we turned around and came home only to find that my water was turned back on. Thankyou Lord.
My life is a journey and I am loving it. Not having my water shut off but the aftereffects. I know that Papa is watching over me and my family. We apparently have much to learn. But my heart is burning for those that don't have. What I mean is I can choose to ignore those that are in need but now I can't. Whatever your walking through the Lord is using it to strengthen you so you can impact others. If someone is in need of food- I will give them food. If someone is in need. I will give what I can.
Sorry this was so long. just sharing.
love & peace
kelly
I am a momma of 4 awesome little love bugs. I will use initials. C.M-10, M.L.-7, C.E.-4 and C.J-3.
If you would have asked me when I was younger how many kids I wanted to have I probably would have said "I donno" and when we found out we were expecting #4 life radically changed. We realized that everything would change. Our careers, what we drive, our living arrangements, our babysitting arrangements, where we dine and what we eat, our jobs and most importantly where we worshipped. At the time we were not attending church. We were not content on where we were going so we just weren't going... not to mention our careers were center stage and that was an obstacle.
It occured to me 1 evening at work(i was a manager for a steak house) that my children didn't really know who Jesus was and I was in no way raising them in a godly home. It wasn't that I didn't believe I was just running from him. {side note: i felt called at a young age of 16 to be called to the missions field and ministry- it was even prophesied over me that i would lead thousands to christ. And yet I was so lost because I didnt have an intimate relationship w/ God. I was saved and I could speak in tongues. and Iknew I wanted to somehow impact the world. I just was sorta lost then. I didn't really fit in anywhere- all my friends were drinking and having sex and in college-and here I was... I was scarred that I would fail. I just didnt know what to do. It was like I had no one to help me and I got lost and so i ran for a long time.} So we began attending CCC again(this was the church I grew up in) because they had Saturday night services and I was off. About 2 months later I went into premature labor w/ #4. He came 8 weeks early and spent the next 5 weeks of his life in the nicu. This was the absolute turning point in my life. The best way for me to explain it in a short amount of words is this. God touched my life as he healed CJ. I never really witnessed a healing before but I know now God was showing me that he is just as much real today as he was 2000 yrs ago. And that HE LOVES ME. That was a hard thing to grasp. I mean I really messed up. I was not perfect (and I still am not). I mean you hear Pastors say it but until then I didn't understand. God used my premature labor and baby to consume my life. To come and erase every lie that the enemy had ever whispered. I was dumbfounded. So from then my life was different. I'm leaving out much detail.
So we currently still attend CCC and I help to coordinate the nurserys on tuesday morning sept thru may. It might not sound so great but really the Lord totally opened the door for this. I was able to meet and get to know a lot of the moms at our church and their awesome kiddos. It also has been a time for me to sit under the direction of the childrens pastor and learn so much from her and others that coordinate. So I feel like right now I am in training for a ministry yet to be forseen. I long to study whether its in a school of ministry or actual college. But right now my actual time is in high demand w/ my family. Like I said though I am on a journey it my time will change as my children become less demanding and more independant. My kids do go to public school and this is where I feel they are suppose to be but I also know that could change.
I decided to retire from management 2yrs ago so I could focus on being a full time momma. It was not an easy decision. I cried and prayed a lot about this move. It was a total step in faith. We really needed that 2nd income. Several years before my husband(hammy) started a landscape buisness. Every year his buisness grew. 2 falls ago he joined partners w/ a longtime friend of his that also had a small landscape biz. So this is the 3rd fall going into partnership. Last spring Hammy quit his full time job as a youth counselor and jumped both feet into their buisness. Also another big step of faith. The Lord has been good to us.
So we basically went from 3 incomes to 1 income. talk about life changing. I cant even begin to tell you. In a way its been hard but in a way its been a highlight in our lives. We are living in total faith that God will provide. Everything from jobs to food to clothes. A family of 6 is not cheap! We have been humbled. When I look back at this past year- which has been the most intense... we never did with out. We live in a older but nice neighborhood. Everyone works. At times it would get a little frustrating seeing other familys buy nice new cars and put on nice additions and accross from us they just built 6 new homes that are double what are house is worth. There kids walk around w/ cell phones and are enrolled in smancy events and money money money. I'm just praying I can pay the bills and afford to buy grocerys. {just being real w/ you}. But when i walk back into my house I am greatly and quickly reminded that everyday is worth it. I get to be a momma. I dont have to depend on any babysitter or worry if they are taken care of. I truely thank God daily that I dont work right now.
I feel that we are still being humbled and actually I am praying to be humbled more. I really don't like it. {just being honest} The other day we had our water shut off. I have not shared this w/ anyone. Ha what a place to right? Thru this whole transformation we have been going thru we never really had anything shut off {once our cable for a week} so at least not of great importance. I simply forgot to pay the bill. It was due 2 days prior(and a month late) so we owed like $100. I heard someone outside and thought it was someone reading the meter. They never knocked on the door. Just hung a HUGE sign for all to see. So i was totally embarrassed. I immediately called the water company and paid the whole bill. And they told me it would take 24 to 72 hours to turn back on. AHHHH. are you kidding me? So like what am I suppose to do w/ no water for 4 days- stay at the holiday inn? not in the budget. So I packed up the little ones and the dog and started driving around my neighborhood looking for this man in the watervan. Yep you heard me I DROVE AROUND MY NEIGHBORHOOD LOOKING FOR THE PAWC GUY! And can you believe I found him. Ha! I cant even believe I did this! I cut him off and made him stop and I hopped out of my van and ran over to his and told him where I lived and asked him very nicely to come and turn my water back on. Of course he said NO! humph! can you believe that? I'm like "i have 4 little kids - i cant wait 4 days" the guys like I'm a grandpa-i understand but I cant turn it back on. So what was I to do. Of course the waterworks turned on but I turned and thanked him and respectfully got back in my van. My kids were like mom why are you criing.- oh I hate that. So I didn't know what else to do so I put my head on the steering wheel and cried and asked the Lord to take care of this for me because I have done all that I could do. I drove out to my parents for 2 hours and drank lots of water and let the kids swim and then we turned around and came home only to find that my water was turned back on. Thankyou Lord.
My life is a journey and I am loving it. Not having my water shut off but the aftereffects. I know that Papa is watching over me and my family. We apparently have much to learn. But my heart is burning for those that don't have. What I mean is I can choose to ignore those that are in need but now I can't. Whatever your walking through the Lord is using it to strengthen you so you can impact others. If someone is in need of food- I will give them food. If someone is in need. I will give what I can.
Sorry this was so long. just sharing.
love & peace
kelly
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